My heart simply won’t let go doing it any other way, so it’s back to what works for me. As harsh as it may be, it’s what I must do to preserve who I am on the inside.
Honestly, I believe I’ve had enough of the vicious emotional games that most ghastly men try to play. From the foolish ones, those who think it’s okay for them to behave a certain way. . . .
Yet again, no response when I reached out to Nicholas. What we once had was powerful and . . . .
Dodging bullets is not an easy thing to realistically achieve. However, I’ve carefully managed to dodge two of them already this miserable year. First with Mark, now with Ricardo. We both knew we undoubtedly had an up hill battle if we genuinely wanted to be together. We each admittedly had an obstacle, mine being emotional, and his being obligational. All it would merely take was one of us being unable to cope adequately with the other’s specific situation, and it would be over. Not surprisingly, he quit and gave up.
Good evening, it’s presently 9:35 p.m. on Monday the 6th of April. This journal entry is since Saturday the 4th, Sunday the 5th, and today Monday the 6th of April. It has been undoubtedly a whirlwind the past three days. Saturday and Sunday I felt completely lost, last night I dealt with many family dramas, and today has been chaos. I’m thinking people are starting to lose their flipping minds.
As the numbers began to climb, I set my initial goal at 500 followers. Exactly 3 months later from the day I started using Instagram on March 16th I made it to my first set goal. For some reason I thought that every 500 followers gained would take 3 months since the first 500 followers required that long to obtain.
My sister Lou has not been herself lately. She retains it in her head that she’s the only one of mothers children who act like an adult. Who has to take care of her brother and sisters. Yeah, she takes care of my younger brother who is, well never mind. He’s not in this but if he were he’d be right up Lou’s ass. Regardless, she’s prancing around on a tall horse talking herself up as if she has to rescue and take care of her three siblings. This is ludicrous and bizarre thinking on her part.
Besides Wolfie and my ex, I can’t seem to get JP out of my mind. He too plays peek a boo in my thoughts daily. I’m thinking there was something between him and I that I squandered away. Not that I regret my decision, but I often question if he would have been in the United States would I have thrown what we had away?