Yesterday’s Journal entry required what seemed like a week to complete. To be honest, it didn’t get finished until early this morning. When I went to proofread my writing, and the program I use froze up on me I got so enraged. I instantly had to rewrite the entire thing. Tonight I’m utilizing a program that auto saves every word I type. I’m not about to voluntarily go through that madness again. As I was finishing up the imagery for my post, my sister showed up. We chatted for a while, then I got back to what I was doing. When my sister arrived, I thought it was for a few days, however she embraced other plans. She had been barely here for a few hours before she took off with a few of her longtime friends.
Around 6 a.m. I believe my phone started chirping with the pleasant sounds of Wolfman. As we were chatting, the time he typically headed for work came and went. That was just the beginning of what I felt like was my fault. Routinely he leaves at 6:30 a.m., and today he didn’t leave until 6:45 a.m. One thing that I don’t desire to do is disturb his familiar routine. I’ve already conveyed this to him, and he’s earnestly assured me that I’m fine. I’m cautiously trying to not cross established boundaries, but hard it is indeed. As we were saying our heartfelt goodbyes, he informed me that it would be this evening before we got to speak again. This was a bit of a jolt to my system, but what can we do about it? He has responsibilities, and we can’t be on our phones all day.
Ultimately, I did accomplish getting my Journal entry posted. By this time Wolfman had already messaged me from work. While we were chatting about everything under the sun, I received a text message from my ex. When I went to see who the text message was from, and I saw it was him, it was very easy to just go back to what I was doing. After a period of time, we did stop talking, but we of course talked most the night until around 7 p.m. when he needed to go eat and relax. At some point through the day, I asked him if he was getting any work achieved, or if he needed to get some done. His answer as always was brilliant. “Oh, I’m at work?”
Tomorrow I’m going to try and contain myself, so my new friend can get some work completed and get back to his normal sleep routine. Absolutely hating the feeling of coming into this guy’s life and turning it upside down. That’s the last thing I want to do. However, every time I mention this, he assures me that it’s okay and that everything is fine. Undoubtedly, I need to quit worrying about things that I maintain no control over. There’s many unnecessary worries that run through my mind, and I have a sneaky suspicion I know where they are coming from. More than likely it’s because of the messed-up relationship I scarcely got out of. Keeping that relationship and how it’s affected me emotionally separate from this friendship is going to be difficult. How am I going to do this? I have no clue, but I’m going to try. Allowing what happened to me with my ex, get in the way or my now friendship wouldn’t be fair to us.
When I was in Junior High, during physical education class PE, we would engage in a game that I absolutely hated. Dodgeball! Why did I detest it? Every single time I had to play that damn game, it never failed, I got smacked square in the face with a ball. If you recall, these balls are reddish pink with a unique texture of some distinct kind, and they were kind of squishy. When they collided with your face, it would sting like hell and make a pinging sound. Really, no matter how many times you got hit, and in my case it was every time, each time it STUNNED you. That exact sensation of being STUNNED just happened to me. During a conversation between Wolfman and me, he brings up a sensitive subject. STUNNED! Even though this has shocked the piss out of me, I assure you I’m still staying in the game. Mister, you know how to get a hold of me if you ever need to talk or vent. I may only just have one favorable ear, but that one ear works well. We presently have a towering mountain to climb, which I was unaware of. With each other we can achieve this, as long as we support one another along the way.
It’s been a while since I posted song lyrics, and this one is relevant for me tonight. Indeed, I know it’s another Celine Dion song but most of her music is fantastic. I’ve always appreciated her music and lyrics, and the album this is from is no exception. Even though Wolfman and myself are only friends, there’s a burning fire deep within me that I can’t extinguish. When talking to my friend, he too genuinely enjoys something between us. With a mountain to climb first, we have no other choice than to move slowly, but there is no denying it. I’m Falling for him.
When the sun went down on that day, I never thought that love would come back to me. When I closed my eyes and tried to dream, darkness was the only thing I could see. I had run out of hope, reached the end of the road, hit the rocks at the bottom with no farther to go. But just when I thought I was destined to end up all alone, you showed me there’s more to this life.
I can’t believe I’m falling in love once again. I can’t believe I’m falling in love, but I am. I never thought that I would be strong enough to move on. No, this wasn’t part of the plan. I can’t believe I’m falling in love. But I’m falling in love once again.
When you take my hand, you hold my heart, and I know everything will be alright. When you touch me there, I feel it everywhere. I’m loving things I never thought I would like. I can’t believe I’m falling in love once again. I can’t believe I’m falling in love, but I am. I never thought that I would be strong enough to move on no, this wasn’t part of the plan. I can’t believe I’m falling in love, but I’m falling in love. Once again.
Just when I thought I was destined to end up all alone, you showed me there’s more to this life. I can’t believe I’m falling in love once again. Oh, I’m falling in love once again. I never thought that I would be strong enough to move on no, this wasn’t part of the plan. I can’t believe I’m falling in love, but I’m falling in love once again. Once again
