Not that I need to be protected, but yeah it would be nice to have someone here with me if things got awful. I’ve always said that if the world gets too crazy I would bug out in the mountains away from everyone. This would be terrifying, and extremely lonely to do by myself. Nicholas and I talked about this topic before, and he was going to be my protector and bug out buddy. Oh how things have changed.
The media is the propaganda wing of the Democrat party, and after the embarrassment over no Russia collusion, the Mueller report, and the non-existent quid pro quo Ukraine, they will do anything to bring down the Trump administration, even if they have to destroy your finances. Along with trying to mess with our finances, I truly believe this is a tactic intentionally put in place by the Democrats, and their cronies, the media, to scare the population from getting out and voting.
It’s a relief that I have no expectations from him whatsoever, and just enjoy the conversations that we've had over the past couple days. I will say I’m a bit giddy like a little girl, because he’s messaged me two mornings in a row bright and early. However, like I said I have no expectations and I’m just happy I’m not blocked out of his life.
Like every other time when I wake up, the first thing I do is check my phone. Going through all the notifications, missed calls from my sister, missed messages from people on Facebook, and the miscellaneous notifications from everywhere else. Then, I got to one of the last ones to open, and I instantly got light-headed as soon as I read his name.
As my new life started taking shape, Nicholas would enter my world. He would turn out to be my first boyfriend as my authentic self, and I would be his first trans woman ever. Being each other's firsts, I believe made the dysphoria go away, because once we saw each other face to face I was totally okay with being intimate with him
My mind is still all over the place, but I’m not as consumed with my break-up as I was then, so it might stick this time. Having a routine that I do every morning should help to focus my mind, and get things in order up there. Once I succeed at putting it together, that in itself will make me happy, and working on this routine will give me my purpose for the time being. It’s a win-win situation.
I didn't expect anything first thing this morning because that is not how "friends" operate, and I was made to understand very clearly yesterday that we were only friends. I did on the other hand think that he would say hello at some point and maybe show me his new drivers license that he got today, I thought he would be excited about finally being a New Jersey resident again, and want to show his new picture off.