Ringmaster Of My Circus
Am I suffering from writer's block or an emotional block? Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my three ring circus.
Category dead man walking
any and all journal entries that contain the remains of the dead man child nicholas, nick anthony mazonis.
Emotionally Discombobulated
Today would of been my mother's 65th Birthday if she were still with us. . .
Enough Is Enough
My heart simply won't let go doing it any other way, so it's back to what works for me. As harsh as it may be, it's what I must do to preserve who I am on the inside.
When I’m Ready
Within two bleak days my entire emotional core would be snuffed out. Causing me to feel like. . . .
It Is What It Is
Honestly, I believe I’ve had enough of the vicious emotional games that most ghastly men try to play. From the foolish ones, those who think it’s okay for them to behave a certain way. . . .
Powerful
Yet again, no response when I reached out to Nicholas. What we once had was powerful and . . . .
My Bleeding Heart
Being in love with someone who is no longer in love with you should be easy to move past. However, for myself it's impossible it seems. Lying to myself and stuffing emotions elsewhere didn't work, because subconsciously it all was there under a brilliant script of excellent acting. When I heeded Nicks familiar voice on a personal video for the first time in 5 bleak months, I couldn't contain it any longer. A distinctive sound not forgotten, rather blocked out to shelter myself from the unbearable pain of my bleeding heart.
Stronger Together
My sister Lou has not been herself lately. She retains it in her head that she’s the only one of mothers children who act like an adult. Who has to take care of her brother and sisters. Yeah, she takes care of my younger brother who is, well never mind. He’s not in this but if he were he’d be right up Lou’s ass. Regardless, she’s prancing around on a tall horse talking herself up as if she has to rescue and take care of her three siblings. This is ludicrous and bizarre thinking on her part.
Peek~A~Boo
Besides Wolfie and my ex, I can’t seem to get JP out of my mind. He too plays peek a boo in my thoughts daily. I’m thinking there was something between him and I that I squandered away. Not that I regret my decision, but I often question if he would have been in the United States would I have thrown what we had away?
Empty Words
So confident, but you'll be surprised it took awhile, but I can finally recognize. I'm so much better off with someone else. . .
