- case manager, emotions or emotional, faith, goals, hope, journaling, love, mindset of 2015, quotes and poems, therapy over the phone, worrying
![Boy and Girls hands each holding a phone. Texting one another with pink and red hearts floating up from the phones.](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSI3NjgiIGhlaWdodD0iNDMwIiB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNzY4IDQzMCI+PHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9IjEwMCUiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAwJSIgc3R5bGU9ImZpbGw6I2NmZDRkYjtmaWxsLW9wYWNpdHk6IDAuMTsiLz48L3N2Zz4=)
Every so often it's the insignificant things that sincerely mean the most. It was around lunch time when my mobile phone rang, and on the other end Wolfie was calling. Absolutely surprised, I picked up the phone naturally assuming he was taking his lunch break. Recently, I've had the feeling that he and I were drifting apart, with an enormous mountain looming in front of us. This afternoon those foolish feelings would change. This small gesture instantly made those feeling go away.
- anxious, case manager, catina, coronavirus aftermath, coronavirus statistics, emotions or emotional, fear, journaling, lou lou, love, panic attack, quotes and poems, relationships, therapy over the phone, wordpress.com website
![](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSI3NjgiIGhlaWdodD0iNTEyIiB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNzY4IDUxMiI+PHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9IjEwMCUiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAwJSIgc3R5bGU9ImZpbGw6I2NmZDRkYjtmaWxsLW9wYWNpdHk6IDAuMTsiLz48L3N2Zz4=)
There's a shortage of pretty much everything that you need or want in stores. Toilet paper, thermometers, milk, you name it, its out of stock. Now people are out of work, like my sister Lou and my nephew.
- coronavirus aftermath, coronavirus statistics, hope, instagram, journaling, jp, love, memories, mental health, quotes and poems, relationships, social media, worrying
![from the calgon take me away entry in my favorites four hands covering girls face](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSI3NjgiIGhlaWdodD0iNTEyIiB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNzY4IDUxMiI+PHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9IjEwMCUiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAwJSIgc3R5bGU9ImZpbGw6I2NmZDRkYjtmaWxsLW9wYWNpdHk6IDAuMTsiLz48L3N2Zz4=)
Now I endure this on top of everything else that's going through my brain to stress and worry about. Like I want to go to a doctors office or hospital where people are ill. Knowing my luck so far today, I’d catch the coronavirus. Hopefully, it doesn’t continue to swell, but if it does I guess I know where I’m going in the next few days
- coronavirus aftermath, depression, emotions or emotional, fear, goals, heart-ache, hope, journaling, love, memories, my authentic self, panic attack, quotes and poems, relationships
![Featured photo for Why can't I let go? Girl with a green marker with the words Let Go](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSI3NjgiIGhlaWdodD0iNTQyIiB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNzY4IDU0MiI+PHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9IjEwMCUiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAwJSIgc3R5bGU9ImZpbGw6I2NmZDRkYjtmaWxsLW9wYWNpdHk6IDAuMTsiLz48L3N2Zz4=)
I'm terrified that if or when I let them go the nightmare I'm currently living will get worse. Even thinking about letting them go in fact makes me want to check myself into a hospital for observation. With my history I know I'm capable of doing something stupid. On top of all that, if I change my last name to get rid of the Mazoins name, and abandon all our hopes, dreams and goals in the past. My burning question is who would I be?
![](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSI3NjgiIGhlaWdodD0iNTEyIiB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNzY4IDUxMiI+PHJlY3Qgd2lkdGg9IjEwMCUiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAwJSIgc3R5bGU9ImZpbGw6I2NmZDRkYjtmaWxsLW9wYWNpdHk6IDAuMTsiLz48L3N2Zz4=)
I’m totally not certain on how much I should or shouldn’t say about the past four days, due to fear of it disappearing again, I will tread as lightly as I can. First, I want to say that something is different this time around, now that Nicholas and I are talking again. He has messaged me each morning, in the most loving, kind, and gentle way, and in a great mood despite his illness.