Category memories

these are good memories

dead man walking, emotions or emotional, haunting memories, heart-ache, my mother

Emotionally Discombobulated

photo of person lying down on beach as the sun set in pinks and blues

Today would of been my mother's 65th Birthday if she were still with us. . .

Nadia
April 27, 2020
1 Comment

cabin fever, catina, depression, emotions or emotional, journaling, lou lou, love, memories, quotes and poems, relationships, wordpress.com website, worrying

Both of these were forcing me to feel like a different person than I’ve been the past few weeks. Wolfie and I have been so happy and content with one another, why did my ex have to come in and mess that up for me? Last night when he sent me the photos I tried to act like they didn’t mean anything. Telling myself they were in fact a part of my past, but no longer represented my future.

Nadia
March 29, 2020

coronavirus aftermath, coronavirus statistics, hope, instagram, journaling, jp, love, memories, mental health, quotes and poems, relationships, social media, worrying

Calgon Take Me Away

Now I endure this on top of everything else that's going through my brain to stress and worry about. Like I want to go to a doctors office or hospital where people are ill. Knowing my luck so far today, I’d catch the coronavirus. Hopefully, it doesn’t continue to swell, but if it does I guess I know where I’m going in the next few days

Nadia
March 24, 2020

love, depression, egotistical family, emotions or emotional, facebook, heart-ache, journaling, jp, memories, my authentic self, quotes and poems, relationships, social media

Orphaned Again, Why Me?

The distinct feeling of being orphaned is back, and it sucks. Once more, I don't feel like I belong anywhere or maintain a purpose. The past 4 months and 13 days have been an absolute nightmare. Wondering through life lonesome and sad, with no one to belong to.

Nadia
March 21, 2020
2 Comments

coronavirus aftermath, depression, emotions or emotional, fear, goals, heart-ache, hope, journaling, love, memories, my authentic self, panic attack, quotes and poems, relationships

Why Can’t I Let You Go?

Featured photo for Why can't I let go? Girl with a green marker with the words Let Go

I'm terrified that if or when I let them go the nightmare I'm currently living will get worse. Even thinking about letting them go in fact makes me want to check myself into a hospital for observation. With my history I know I'm capable of doing something stupid. On top of all that, if I change my last name to get rid of the Mazoins name, and abandon all our hopes, dreams and goals in the past. My burning question is who would I be?

Nadia
March 20, 2020

love, coronavirus covid-19, egotistical family, emotions or emotional, heart-ache, instagram, journaling, memories, narcissistic mother, physical abuse, quotes and poems, relationships

Triggered Again

Normally I eat sitting at the computer desk because it’s just extremely unpleasant to eat at the coffee table where Nicholas and I typically used to eat every night. If I had another table, I would already pitch this one. One of the legs on it is broken anyway from where Nicholas got angry at me and kicked the leg right off the table. Anyway, for some reason I found myself sitting in Nicholas’s seat eating on his side of the table. Totally triggered and nearly in tears I felt the need to text him.

Nadia
March 19, 2020

coronavirus covid-19, egotistical family, emotions or emotional, facebook, heart-ache, instagram, love, memories, my authentic self, narcissistic mother, relationships, social media, strong confident beautiful woman, twitter

Me And Social Media +500

Today I reached my first personal goal on Instagram, and that was reaching 500 followers. That’s pretty cool to me no matter what anyone says. I’m an ordinary transgender woman from a hick town, and 500 people are interested in my pictures? Damn right I’m excited!

Nadia
March 15, 2020