Am I suffering from writer's block or an emotional block? Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my three ring circus.
Today would of been my mother's 65th Birthday if she were still with us. . .
My heart simply won't let go doing it any other way, so it's back to what works for me. As harsh as it may be, it's what I must do to preserve who I am on the inside.
Within two bleak days my entire emotional core would be snuffed out. Causing me to feel like. . . .
Yet again, no response when I reached out to Nicholas. What we once had was powerful and . . . .
Dodging bullets is not an easy thing to realistically achieve. However, I've carefully managed to dodge two of them already this miserable year. First with Mark, now with Ricardo. We both knew we undoubtedly had an up hill battle if we genuinely wanted to be together. We each admittedly had an obstacle, mine being emotional, and his being obligational. All it would merely take was one of us being unable to cope adequately with the other's specific situation, and it would be over. Not surprisingly, he quit and gave up.
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After a two day relentless flood of excessive emotions and pent-up feelings, I evanesced into a world of technology and optimization. The familiar sound of a voice which caused the wound on my heart to bleed yesterday, happened to be the same sound today that comforted me. Why did William . . .
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Every so often it's the insignificant things that sincerely mean the most. It was around lunch time when my mobile phone rang, and on the other end Wolfie was calling. Absolutely surprised, I picked up the phone naturally assuming he was taking his lunch break. Recently, I've had the feeling that he and I were drifting apart, with an enormous mountain looming in front of us. This afternoon those foolish feelings would change. This small gesture instantly made those feeling go away.
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A tragic love story maybe, but that was it. Catina and I talked about how I felt for real about Wolfie. There’s no other way to describe my sincere feelings for him. Words do not express the gratitude, and love that I possess in my heart for this man. As we continued to talk, our conversation went from my feelings to Wolfman's feelings.
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My sister Lou has not been herself lately. She retains it in her head that she’s the only one of mothers children who act like an adult. Who has to take care of her brother and sisters. Yeah, she takes care of my younger brother who is, well never mind. He’s not in this but if he were he’d be right up Lou’s ass. Regardless, she’s prancing around on a tall horse talking herself up as if she has to rescue and take care of her three siblings. This is ludicrous and bizarre thinking on her part.