When I’m Ready

dark clouds over sad girl sitting bench

Image Credit: Pixabay / Google

How do I write about overwhelming thoughts and feeling that I haven’t processed or felt yet? 

black white graphic how are you fine when i'm ready quote post

Two dreadful things happened over the past week that have rendered me emotionally dead. Up first is Ricardo who called it off between the two of us in a text that was like a novel, jokingly said. Second up is Nicholas, during what realistically was a pleasant conversation ghosted me. Like truly ghosted me and refuses to acknowledge I exist. I’m dumbfounded. These two things happened within a day or two apart. It was like a menacing presence came into my heart and stole my emotional core.  

Before all this took place I was already intensely focused on learning as much as I possibly could about SEO practices. After these two things happened, I went at it even harder, sticking my nose to the screen and not looking up.

young girl sad tape over eyes dying inside when im ready post

When I’m ready, I will deal with the pain that is on its way. However tonight, I’m allowing the feeling of dying miserably on the inside to continue. Until I’m adequately prepared, this topic goes on the back burner.

Until Next Time

Nadia 

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By Nadia

I was born in October 1975, in a small town in Missouri. My mother was a housewife and my stepfather worked in a furniture factory. With four children, all my parents could afford was a simple existence for the family. However, I wouldn’t exchange those days with anyone for anything. I am the second child of my mothers four children. There is my older sister who is three years my senior, my brother who is three years younger than me, and lastly my younger sister who is six year younger than me and three years younger than our brother. Twenty days after my twenty-first birth on Halloween 1996 we suffered the loss of our precious mother. Our lives were forever changed that day.

2 comments

    1. Lonely Author,

      Literally I just came from staring at the comment box on your post “i will love you” over on your blog. My every intention was to leave you a message to thank you for expanding my heart to allow hope to flourish again. After everything that has taken place in the past six months, as it relates to my love life, my hope was all but demolished.

      The hope that I would ever experience the unique feeling of being loved again was dead and gone. Genuinely, I thought I’d never experience it again. Yet somehow the words you carefully composed in this poem wrapped around me like a thermal blanket of love. What it abundantly proved to me correctly is, within my emotional core, love is still alive.

      Sadly, I had to leave without submitting that comment. Once I was capable of moving and processed what was going on, I couldn’t gather the words to express my gratitude. In all sincerity, I’m still having a little bit of trouble. The fact that I have no idea who you realistically are astonishes me. You’ve made me feel alive again and gave me back the hope of love. With that being said, from the bottom of my heart, I want to THANK YOU!!

      As I was leaving your blog, I naturally noticed you were going through some possible health issues. Whatever it is, I’m going to be praying for you! Your soul is a beautiful one, and I know this because I can detect your presence. What ever it is your dealing with, have faith that you will come out on the other side healthier and happier.

      Best Regards,
      Nadia

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